Grief is more than facing the reality of what is. It is the process of letting go “what should and could have been”, then releasing the hurt and pain and turning our focus to the Lord who brings comfort and hope.
Paula Silva
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I wish I would have known about this website when I was going thru my divorce. It wasn’t until I was away from him that I realized how abused I was. The consistant threats to leave me and shaming me, emotional and verbal and physical abuse etc. I thought that was “normal” marriage stuff! Thank GOD that I got the strenth and courage to leave. He still remains a pastor and says that he hates me. That will be something he will have to work on with God.
To anyone who reads this, know that it does get better. You regain yourself and your dignity and love fo self. You regain your soul and reconnection to God. I still have a hard time with trust and desire to have that relationship that is healthy love and am learning to trust God that will happen. I would love to say that I am “all over it”, but recovery, when you do it right, takes time, so I am also learning patience! Good luck to al the women who are going thru this, you are not alone we are sisters.
Getting out of the abuse is only the beginning; it’s hard to heal when the judicial system doesn’t support you, so you keep having to replay and return to having the person in your life. I am referring to the children and their mandated visitations, and all his judicial system manipulations of me. It’s life as usual for three wks. out of the month, then the fourth week when the visitation is going to occur I become very anxious, but I spend twice as much time in prayer for their safety.
Paula, Your words on grief wrap up all of my thinking into two concise statements. Painful… very painful, but also simple once you realize it. I don’t mean easy when I say simple… not at all… I mean more like there is nothing more you could have or should have done so rest easy in that. Thank you.