Grief is more than facing the reality of what is. It is the process of letting go “what should and could have been”, then releasing the hurt and pain and turning our focus to the Lord who brings comfort and hope.
Paula Silva
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Daddy, Please stop!
FOCUS Ministries Email Update Dear Friends: Filled with anxiety and terror from the night before, Shaniele cautiously reached for the phone in the silence of the new day. She dialed the number of her church wondering if anyone would believe her. As the pastor answered the phone, she began crying frantically relating the abusive events…
- Abusive Relationships | Clarity | Domestic Violence | DV Ministry | Insights | Intuition | Psychological Wounds | Shame | Spiritual Warfare | Survivor
I Was Once a Pastor’s Wife – Part 1 of 3
Like to read this blog In Espanol Shared with permission: We met in the business office of the apartment complex where I lived. He was the I.T. professional, and I was the patient person waiting for him to fix whatever was ailing the printer. Get it? I was…
Jesus Loves Me…So what?
What does it mean to be loved by God? I mean truly loved by God. I grew up singing Jesus Loves Me. I believe it, but is it just a fact that I know to be true, or a radical truth that actually changes my life? Shouldn’t it be the latter? What impression does the…
- Change | Clarity | Grief | Insights | Spiritual Direction
I Wonder . . .
What an effective picture of the view of the National Mall in Washington, D.C. on Inauguration Day. Glowing lights lined the mall representing lives lost due to COVID-19. It was an impressive memorial to loved ones that were no longer with us. Only a vaccine could eradicate this killer. Millions of dollars have been spent…
My Counselor Doesn’t Get It!
After years of emotional and verbal abuse directed at my children and me and physical abuse directed at the children when they were younger my husband finally consented to go for counseling–he admits to being backslidden but agreed to go for Christian counseling. Much to my surprise the sessions have not been about his issues…
Take Heart, Daughter!
20 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. 21 She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” 22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the…
I wish I would have known about this website when I was going thru my divorce. It wasn’t until I was away from him that I realized how abused I was. The consistant threats to leave me and shaming me, emotional and verbal and physical abuse etc. I thought that was “normal” marriage stuff! Thank GOD that I got the strenth and courage to leave. He still remains a pastor and says that he hates me. That will be something he will have to work on with God.
To anyone who reads this, know that it does get better. You regain yourself and your dignity and love fo self. You regain your soul and reconnection to God. I still have a hard time with trust and desire to have that relationship that is healthy love and am learning to trust God that will happen. I would love to say that I am “all over it”, but recovery, when you do it right, takes time, so I am also learning patience! Good luck to al the women who are going thru this, you are not alone we are sisters.
Getting out of the abuse is only the beginning; it’s hard to heal when the judicial system doesn’t support you, so you keep having to replay and return to having the person in your life. I am referring to the children and their mandated visitations, and all his judicial system manipulations of me. It’s life as usual for three wks. out of the month, then the fourth week when the visitation is going to occur I become very anxious, but I spend twice as much time in prayer for their safety.
Paula, Your words on grief wrap up all of my thinking into two concise statements. Painful… very painful, but also simple once you realize it. I don’t mean easy when I say simple… not at all… I mean more like there is nothing more you could have or should have done so rest easy in that. Thank you.