I had pastors from church see bruises on me and tell me iif it happens to me, its one thing BUT if he touches the children then I AM obligated to leave for the sake of kids.
In other words being abused by my husband and my childrens exposer to it was entirely my responsibility to make it stop!!! NOBODY ever even tried to hold him accountable, they jus pat him on the back when he cried about it and said its okay brother just try harder. Or he would talk about suicide, whatever it took to deflect his actions, he also did that standard bit about how he thought i was cheating which provoked him to anger….so the pastors always treated me like some sort of harlot, judging me before ever talking to me, even saying in front of my husband that "She dresses to be looked at" even though compared to their wives i was very conservative. Honestly ABUSE and the perpetrators of it are rampant in fellowship churches, especially where we use to live all up and down southern and northern Oregon. So i suspect its probably the same dynamics across the board. Unfortunately, these men in these positions are perpetuating wheter out of ignorance or no, they are perpetuating violence against women and children.

I hope things are improving for you. I’m not a big fan of facebook, but I wanted to encourage to hold onto Jer 29:11. It has really grounded me through all of this. I hope you were able to find a support group or a counsellor. Talking to supportive people and praying are the only ways to work through something like this. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay positive, dream new dreams, hope and strive towards the future you always wanted. God bless.