Maybe you have known the fear and despair of living in an abusive relationship; the anxiety of never knowing when something you say or do will trigger the scorching verbal vomit or violence within him. You are afraid to confide in anyone else because he has warned you not to tell anyone what goes on inside the four walls of your home.
You are afraid that even if you did go to your pastor or a counselor, they would not believe you because your husband is a smooth talker who can make you sound like a fool, or he may be a respected leader in the church.
You wish you had wings so you could fly away to a safe place where you would be free from hurt. Take heart – there is help available to you, and there is hope. People care, and most of all, God cares. You are important! You are valuable!
- Over 30% (some estimate over 50%) of all murders of women in America are committed by intimate partners.
- Up to 6 million women are believed to be beaten in their homes each year. Four million incidents are reported. Up to 90% of battered women never report their abuse.
- On the average, a woman is battered in the United States by a partner every twelve to fifteen seconds!
- 50% of all homeless women and children in America are fleeing domestic violence.
- 50-70% of men who abuse their partners also abuse children in the home.
- The average batterer is held less than 2 hours, and less than 1% serves any jail time.
Things You Should Know
Learn about how an abuser wields power over his victim. Not all abusers use physical violence (at first), but when their manipulative tactics are no longer effective, many abusers resort to physical violence to instill fear and regain control.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should develop a safety plan for yourself and your children. Follow the steps listed in this plan before you are attacked, so you will be prepared to flee at a moment’s notice.
FOCUS Ministries has begun a blog to help you see your life in focus! It’s a safe place to be encouraged, educated, and equipped to handle life’s difficult circumstances with a virtual community of women journeying toward hope and healing through Christ. You’ll find articles not only on Biblical-based insights into domestic violence and difficult relationships, but also on many issues relevant to women today, including spiritual health, emotional health, physical health, parenting, and more. Make virtual visits to Life in FOCUS a regular part of your day! Meet us on the web at www.focusministries1.org/blog/.
Do you need a safe place to find support and encouragement in your life journey? FOCUS Ministries has support groups scattered throughout the country. You’ll gain insight into the complicated nature of dysfunctional relationships and domestic violence, as well as be able to connect with other women who have found themselves in difficult circumstances. Special efforts are in place to keep the groups confidential.
If you are the wife of a pastor who is controlling or abusive, to whom do you turn for help? FOCUS Ministries is a safe place for you. You are not alone.
You are invited to join us for an encouraging, renewing, and freeing weekend getaway, as FOCUS Ministries’ retreats are not about what you do or who you ought to be, but about releasing the woman God had in mind when He made you!
Read the true stories of women on their journey to healing.
View our bi-monthly newsletters here. You’ll find helpful articles, upcoming event information, nationwide small group listings and more!
Painting is © Danny Hahlbohm, all rights reserved by the artist.
Used with permission. Inspired Art