In February, we “focus” on ways that teens and young adults can avoid abuse in their relationships. Here’s a story about Little Wife and the things that happened to her when she was young…that actually groomed her to become a “little abused wife” later on in life…
Little Wife was looking in the old photo album one day. She usually loved to look at the pictures of when she and her friends were young children and teenagers. What fun they had together, playing and running and riding their bikes and building tree houses in the woods with the other children and kids in the neighborhood. Little Wife enjoyed most of her childhood memories. But once in a while a dark memory would surface in her heart. On this particular day, the dark memories were flooding in, and the tears rolled down her soft cheeks.
She remembered when she was just eleven and had just gotten off the school bus, sitting down in the backyard enjoying the after school snack that Mom had left for her before leaving for work. The neighbor boy came over the fence and sat next to her at the picnic table. He sat way too close to the her. He was very big for his age, much bigger than her and very strong. He was a farm boy.
She moved away from him and said “get away, you smell funny” but he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. She struggled to get away but he was too big and strong. He pulled her off the picnic table and onto the ground, trying to pull her pants off. She screamed “get away from me” but there was no one to hear her. She felt her pants being pulled down and screamed again. She wiggled and kicked and punched at him, trying to escape. Little Girl poked her finger into his eye and then rolled away while he cried out in pain. She pulled up her pants and ran into the house, crying. Nobody ever knew what happened that day. Little Girl was too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.
Two years later in another town, another neighborhood, Little Girl went to play at her friend’s house down the street. Her friend’s brother was home but for some reason, her friend wasn’t home. The brother said, “C’mon, I want to show you our new fort.” Little Girl said “that sounds fun” and went with the brother to the fort in the backyard. Inside the fort was dark and smelled weird and Little Girl was immediately uncomfortable. But before she could back out of the fort, he grabbed her and threw her to the ground and laid on top of her. He was breathing hard and Little Girl was so scared. Finally he rolled away and she ran away back home as fast as she could, crying all the way. Nobody ever knew what happened that day. Little Girl was too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.
Another two years went by. Little Girl was just a little bit bigger now, more like a Teen Woman. She got her monthly cycles now and had a boyfriend who lived down the road. When she was taking a nap one summer afternoon, he came into her house, into her bedroom when no one was home. “Show me your period,” he said. Teen Woman said, “No, that’s private. Go away! GO AWAY!” But he was bigger and stronger and pulled away her blankets and her nightgown to see her private areas. Then he left and she cried. Nobody ever knew what happened that day. Teen Woman was too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.
And then finally it was high school graduation day for Teen Woman. She had a wonderful party with lots of proud family and relatives. Her new boyfriend said, “Let’s get away from all of this and go back to my house for a while.” She was sad to leave her party, but felt she should do what her boyfriend said.
When they got to his house, he was very angry with her for spending time with other guys at the party, even if they were just her cousins. “You’re just no good and I don’t trust you,” he shouted and pushed her to the ground. He kicked her in the belly while she lay on the ground. Then he pulled her to her feet and dragged her into the house, past his parents watching TV in the living room and into his bedroom where he raped her. She cried and nobody ever knew about what happened that day.
Little Wife turned those dark memories around and around in her mind, looking at them from every angle. They were still so horrifying to her after all these years. No wonder she was just a Little Wife. Why didn’t she ever tell anyone? Why didn’t anyone help her? Where was Jesus? The hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about the beginnings of how she eventually became an abused Little Wife, still shrinking and still abused and feeling smaller year after year.
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Chaplain’s Note: My friend, if you are being hurt by someone you thought you knew, please tell a trusted friend or your doctor or a teacher you trust. Don’t live in secret shame and pain like Little Wife. Get out or get help today. Jesus loves you and has a MUCH better plan for your life. May God bless you with His wonderful love and grace and peace.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
