An abuser may be male or female from any culture or from any racial or socio-economic background. They may appear normal, charming, or religious. They may be the usher, the elder, or even the pastor at your church. Abusers come from all walks of life. Each abuser though does exhibit certain common traits. These traits are found in the Word of God as we look at the word, FOOL.
Let’s look at some passages of scripture and note the traits.
Proverbs 12:15: “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Trait: A Fool thinks he is always right.
Proverbs 28:26: “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.”
Trait: A Fool trusts in himself alone, but may profess he is trusting God.
Proverbs 29:11: “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
Trait: A Fool vents his anger without concern for how it affects their partner.
Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”
Trait: A Fool despises accountability for his actions and is offended when consequences are given.
Proverbs 18:2: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.”
Trait: A Fool is opinionated and does not desire to understand someone’s point of view.
Proverbs 26:11: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”
Trait: A Fool exhibits a destructive pattern of behavior that repeats itself over and over again.
Proverbs 15:14: “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on folly.”
Trait: A Fool’s consistent destructive behavior feeds his need for control and power.
Proverbs 29:9: “When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.”
Trait: A Fool is not interested in resolving conflict and will not listen to reason.
Proverbs 13:20: “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Trait: A Fool in relationships causes others to suffer with his destructive behavior injuring body, soul, and mind.
Psalm 73:6-8: “Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment . . . They scoff and speak with malice; they threaten oppression.”
Trait: A Fool is mocking and threatening, violent in some form, and is malicious in their relationships.
Fools can be compared to rough sandpaper that does not beautify anything it scrapes up against. Instead it creates deep gouges that mares the original beauty of the object.
Take time to think through these scripture passages and identify those that are Fools/Abusers in your life. Knowing what you are dealing with is the first step to relational wisdom.