Is There Any Hope For Me?

A diverse church congregation worshipping together

Ann sat gazing at the stain-glass window as she listened to the worship songs being sung. She noticed the varied colored pieces that had been carefully placed to form the intricate design. Her mind wandered to the hopes and dreams she had once carried inside now stomped on and broken by the person who was supposed to love her. The court system had played havoc on her life adding to the abuse that had weighed her down. Contempt of court was only a laughable phrase that meant nothing to the abuser. Where was the justice?

The church that was supposed to be a safe place for the brokenhearted was ill-equipped to handle her situation and others like hers. Just give grace was all she heard. Truth was not acknowledged and no accountability to the perpetrator was given. Friends disappeared tired from hearing about the mess. Christians judged. The phone sat silent in its holder. No encouraging and supportive messages were left.

Although she had long left the destructive marriage behind, she sat noticing that every movement caused the shattered pieces to move and rewound. Life was a hard struggle financially and loneliness seemed to be her constant companion. Trust still remained an uncertainty.

Her emotional roller coaster kept her encircled in a journey she did not want to repeat. Progress in her personal growth came in baby steps that were sometimes hard to measure. She was free from the relationship but was she really free from what dwelt within, the persistent struggles. Will God transform the shattered pieces of her life into a masterful piece of art?

Like Ann most of us struggle with the effect of hardships life brings that has been buried deep within. We may or may not be aware of the churning inside for our body has become numb to the pain.

Sometimes we cover the struggles with outward addictions to people, food, drugs, alcohol, or things. These self-medicating coping skills keep us from addressing the issues that have permeated our life. The issues associated with the hurt and pain have mounted up like a pile of garbage that is toxic to our souls.

Not only do we hold on to them with every bit of strength we possess, but we remain in situations and relationships that are detrimental to our well-being. We don’t realize that the splinter of hurt caused by the initial pain inflicted by others has penetrated deeper over time. The infection of our thoughts and feelings caused by the puss oozing from the wound spreads rapidly throughout our body.

Do we allow the wound to fester until it makes the whole-body sick or possibly die? Are we willing to endure the pain to remove the splinter, cleanse the wound with antibiotics, and give up our coping mechanisms? Or do we just slap a band aid on and pretend it doesn’t exist as our God given treasures are eaten away?

An important question arises to the surface. Are we being a good steward of the treasures God has created in each one of us, the treasures that make us unique?

Our treasures:

  • Relationship with the Lord
  • Soul and spirit
  • Feelings
  • Attitudes
  • Beliefs
  • Opinions
  • Thoughts
  • Values
  • Talents
  • Abilities
  • Desires
  • Dreams
  • Personality

How we use and protect these treasures is our responsibility. Setting appropriate boundaries is necessary. Being consistent and giving consequences when they are violated is essential. Allowing others to come in and destroy our treasures is not good stewardship.

Ann’s treasures had been shattered. She realized she had been holding on to each little piece trying to figure out how to put them back together. As she looked up, her eyes were drawn to the cross. “Give Me your broken treasures,” she distinctly heard.

Ann glanced back at the stained-glass window. A rainbow of color shone through. A tear rolled down her cheek.  She heard a soft whisper. “Ann, I have collected the pieces. They are in my hand. Be patient for I am creating a unique masterpiece so My glory will shine through the pieces of your life.”

“I have caught every tear. I keep them close to Me. I know every heartache. Nothing is a waste. Hold on to Me. There is a purpose, My purpose, in all of your suffering. There is coming a time of rejoicing when everything will be revealed.”

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14 NIV


Paula Silva©2010 FOCUS Ministries, Inc.,


8 comments on “Is There Any Hope For Me?
  1. Geneva says:

    What if you feel The Lord hasn’t said to leave?

  2. Paula Silva says:

    It is important to wait on the Lord. He will direct you. Take the time to learn when and how to respond to the abuse appropriately.

  3. Judy says:

    Dear Paula Silva,

    Your writing Is There Any Hope For Me? has touched my heart deeply, tears rolled down my face as I read.

    I am in the beginning stages of recovering from my narcissistic abusive husband. Your words are so true about what each of us face. It is so heartbreaking to know that very few understand the devastation and the loneliness that leaves one feeling that there is no where to turn for help.

    I wish we had a place that we could all unite and build a supportive sustaining community.

    Paula, I thank God for empowering you through your journey to help and support us, who are in desperate need.

    Than you and God bless you,
    Your sister in Christ,
    Judy Abee (LUTHER)

  4. Paula Silva says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your experience with a narcissistic abusive husband. The path to healing will be a journey worth taking even though it may be difficult at times. You are not alone. God is with you and so am I. God can restore and transform you into the person He intends you to be. Never hesitate to contact us.

    With Christ’s love,

  5. Ann says:

    My daughter was sexually assaulted by her youth pastor. He has been sentenced to ten years in prison. His wife is a member of our church and so is her mother and father and grandparents also (generations). His wife asked my daughter for an apology and so did the counselor the head pastor had referred us to (3 times the counselor asked my daughter if she was ready to apologize). The church as a whole was only told that something “inappropriate” occurred and would be handled in court. They wrote letters to the judge on his behalf. Needless to say my family felt unsupported and uncomfortable to return. So I’m the process we lost our church family of 15+ years. I left heartbroken and unsure how to move forward.

  6. Paula Silva says:

    I am so sorry to hear that your daughter experienced the sexual assault by her youth pastor The church’s response has caused both you and your daughter further harm. Your daughter did the right thing about speaking up regarding the assault. That took a great deal of courage. There is no reason for your daughter to apologize. She spoke truth. It is tragic that the church, this man’s wife and family, and others did not loving support your family, but they must be going through a lot of shame also. Somehow the apology they expect will remove their shame. Sometimes it is very difficult for a family or church to accept that someone they know would do such a thing. It grieves God’s heart to see what has happened. He will direct you to a church family that will support and love your family especially your daughter. Just trust God for his direction and find a Christian counselor that can help your daughter to work through her experience.

  7. Diana Richert says:

    Dear Paula, Thank you for your encouraging words and sharing your own heart breaking story. My oldest son, who has a career in law enforcement, came to rescue me once again May 7th after my husband violently abused me physically and emotionally. This has been happening for many years, yet because he used to be a minister, I protected his image. He also had health issues and I was his caregiver for 33 years. I do care about him, but can’t go back and live with him for safety reasons. He can become outraged instantly. I will get a legal separation. Our church we attended tells him I am the sinner. Yes, I am a sinner saved by Grace, but churches don’t understand this issue. I am scared for the future. Please pray for me that I would not be bitter, but seek Him.

  8. Paula Silva says:

    I can understand you being scared for the future. God holds you in his hands. He has your future planned. Just trust Him.

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