Joan woke up in the morning with heaviness on her heart. “Another day, another
problem,” she thought. It seemed like every day there was another mountain to climb, hurdles to jump, and barriers to get around.
She could not make sense of her relationship with Tom. One minute he appeared sensitive to her feelings and the next he was yelling at her for not going along with his perspective.
She tried to keep the peace in the relationship, but that required her to follow his instructions to the tee jumping the hurdles when he said jump.
“This is madness,” she exclaimed. “I think I am losing my mind!” She kept that statement to herself fearing that he would call her the crazy one. Nothing ever seemed good enough. She could feel resentment and anger building inside. She did not like the person she was becoming. What happened to the old Joan, the calm, compassionate, caring one?
She proceeded with her day, household chores, home schooling, running errands for her husband, etc. She hoped that focusing on other things would distract her from the craziness all around her and keep her mind from whirling.
She felt so weary having to be on her guard. She hated the instant replay that played in her mind when accused of not doing something right by her husband. “Can I ever trust my own perceptions,” she wondered.
Women like Joan get caught up in the whirlwind of confusion, verbal barrage, and emotional torture perpetrated by the person who is supposed to love her. They want clarity but are afraid to reach out for help fearing that they will not be believed or told that they are the problem. After all, their husband says he is following Scripture.
They expend extreme amount of time and energy trying to determine the best course of action. It is the first thing they think about when they wake up and the last thing on their mind when they go to bed. They do not realize that they have made their husband and marriage an idol.
Although the women may know God, it is difficult for them to keep their focus on Him instead of their relationship. Some may even begin to question the presence of God. They feel that God has abandoned them and withdrawn His love and compassion for them. Blinded by their situation, they miss the glimpses of God’s faithfulness to them and his provision.
A cloud of despair hovers over their mind as they try to make sense of what is happening. This is quite difficult for the abuser has distorted the truth through deceit, lies, and manipulation.
To obtain clarity, it is important for each woman to embrace the truth given in God’s Word and to soak it into every part of her being. Truth combats lies. Part of absorbing Scripture is keeping in constant communication (prayer) with our Lord and Savior who guides and directs our path.
The Bible is our filtering system to purify our mind and life. If we seek the Lord, he provides insight and wisdom that dispenses any confusion an abuser can exhort. God whispers truth to us when we stay close to Him.