The Bible has much to say about our tears. The women in our support group this past Monday evening also had much to say about tears. One woman is learning to grieve and cry. After years and years of putting up with harsh words and emotional abuse, wearing a happy face to cover up her…
“I feel sorry for him. He had an abusive childhood.” “He said he’s sorry for hurting me and it’ll never happen again so I guess I will stay. I can forgive him one more time.” “I feel physically sick at the thought of leaving him. He can be very kind sometimes.” “He makes me feel…
At FOCUS Ministries, we often receive phone calls or emails from people who ask, “My friend (or my sister, cousin, daughter, granddaughter) is in an abusive marriage. What should I do?” Good question! We often get the same question from pastors and church staff. What should we do? What should we say? What is…
Little Wife’s little knees were shaking. Her little hands were shaking. Her tiny little voice was shaking. “Ma’am, could you please speak up?” asked the judge. Little Wife looked over her shoulder to the court advocate who had helped prepare her statement and other court documents. The court advocate nodded to Little Wife to…
One thing domestic abuse does very well is destroy our sense of value. We live day after day with an abuser who lies to us and tells us that we are worthless, we are at fault, we are to blame, we are no good to anyone, we are undesirable, we are unlovable, and even God…
“That was him, I know it was him,” Little Wife whispered to herself. She peeked into the rear view mirror of her rental car to catch another look at the car that had just passed her by. Big Man had mysteriously appeared at the scene of the car crash two days before. Her phone showed…
It’s one of the first questions I ask every woman who calls FOCUS Ministries for counsel and support and help. “Are you safe?” Sometimes they think I’ve asked if they are saved! We hope and pray they can answer “YES” to that question also. Are we safe? Are we safe in our homes? In…
After her escape from Big Man, Little Wife filled her days with job hunting, volunteer work, apartment searching and driving her children to school and their activities, trying to keep life for the children as normal as possible, all things considered. There was so much to consider and many life details to be worked out….
“Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. Hop on the bus, Gus. Just get yourself free.” When artist Paul Simon sang those lyrics in 1975, he probably was NOT thinking about domestic abuse. No, I KNOW he wasn’t. He was thinking about something completely different than survival. Leaving the abuse can…
The very next day Little Wife called the local police station. “Hello, is this the police? Yes, my name is Little Wife and I left my abusive husband yesterday. Yes, his name is Big Man. Yes, my children and I left him yesterday with nothing but the clothes on our backs…and a little bit…