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by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, News — No Comments ↓

FEDERAL WAY, Wash. — A man who police said gunned down his wife during a counseling session inside a Federal Way church waived his right to appear in court Thursday.

The shooting happened shortly before 6 p.m. Wednesday at the Calvary Lutheran Church in the 2400 block of South 320th Street.

According to probable cause documents, Charles Parsons, 42, and his wife Carol Parsons were attending a couples counseling session at the church. Charles stood up and began to leave the room when he turned and pointed the gun at his wife. Charles also pointed the gun at the counselor and told him not to move,

Read the article at http://www.kirotv.com/news/22872050/detail.html

by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Insights, Spiritual Direction — No Comments ↓

In dealing with difficult people, we can be the obstacle that limits God in changing that person. It is important for us to get out of the way, stop enabling, and leave the difficult person to God. It is the most loving thing we can do. The difficult person may actually grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in Grief, Insights, Spiritual Direction — 3 Comments ↓

Grief is more than facing the reality of what is. It is the process of letting go “what should and could have been”,  then releasing the hurt and pain and turning our focus to the Lord who brings comfort and hope.

Paula Silva

by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in Insights, Spiritual Direction — No Comments ↓

Women in destructive relationships struggle with many issues. Trust is one of them. Deception, lies, and control have eroded away the intimacy of the partnership. This lack of trust can also affect their faith in God. “If I cannot trust my partner who I can see, how can I trust God who I cannot see?” is a question on their minds.

Since they cannot fix their relationship, they often possess a fear that God will look at them as a failure, withdraw His love, and abandon them.

This causes women to lose hope. Depression and despair encompass them. During these times of crisis, they will either run to God anyway falling into His arms experiencing His grace and love or they will create a wall of distance asking , “How could a loving God let this happen?” Their decision is often based on their concept of God that has been formed by their experiences over time.

Generally four basic concepts of God are below the surface of women’s stories. Imprinted on  their heart may be a combination of more than one viewpoint depending on the circumstances at the time.

Hell, Fire, and Brimstone God

  • A God who condemns
  • A raging God who waits for me to slip up and zap me
  • A God who treats me as a puppet pulling my strings and taking away my freedom of choice
  • A God who chooses whether to give me a good or bad day.

The Genie God

  • A God who grants three wishes when I rub the lamp
  • A God who comes at my command when I want Him to and does what I want
  • A God who grants all my desires when I petition Him in prayer
  • A God who makes my life work according to my plans

The Slot Machine God

  • I put my great works in the slot and pull the handle, and blessings pour out.
  • God is supposed to bless me for all the great things I have done for Him.

Jack-in-the-Box God

  • I only let God out when I need His help
  • I stuff Him back in the box and take over control of my life until the next time something goes wrong.

In three out of the four concepts of God we maintain control and lose sight of the sovereignty of God. God desires for us to truly know Him. It is in knowing  Jesus, His son, that the glory of the Lord is revealed.

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

John 1:14 NIV

Paula Silva  © 2008 FOCUS Ministries, Inc.

by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in Training — 1 Comment ↓

Are you sensing a desire to reach out to those who experience abusive relationships but don’t know how?

Join us at our Train the Trainer seminar on April 16-17, 2010 in Oakbrook Terrace, IL. Further information is found on our website.

We would love to see you there.

by Paula SilvaPosted on Posted in News — 2 Comments ↓

FOCUS Ministries, Inc.  announced the organization’s new blog on Wednesday.  President, Paula Silva, will be administering the custom blog that will include news, upcoming events, articles, and so much more.

Featured blog articles will include Biblical-based insights on domestic violence, dealing with difficult people, spiritual direction, frequently asked questions, and words of encouragement.

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