We continue to recognize February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month with this excerpt from our recent publication, Time To Talk. I can’t even count the number of women who have said to me, “I wish I would have told someone what was happening to me. I was afraid back then, but if I could have a do-over, I would have spoken up. I just didn’t know…”
Have you ever wanted to speak up but you were afraid that no one would believe you?
Have you even been threatened that if you said anything to anyone bad things would happen to you?
Have you ever just stayed quiet so that you might be safer?
Have you ever felt that being as quiet as a mouse might just save your life?
Have you ever wished that someone would just KNOW what’s going with you without you having to say anything?
Have you ever picked up the phone to call for help but then just hung up?
Your voice is the first thing to disappear when you experience teen dating violence and abuse. You discover early in the relationship that speaking in your own defense will intensify the abuse so you just get quiet, hoping if you just stay quiet, it might go away. You don’t speak up for fear you might rock the boat and make it all worse.
You even learn to cry silently.
Did you know that 2 our of 3 teens who were in an abusive relationship never told anyone about the abuse?
How do you get your voice back? Where do you even begin when you’ve learned NOT to talk about it? I believe the best way to start talking is by praying. Pray to God using your voice. Talk to your Father in heaven who sees all that you are going through. Jesus understands because He was also abused by His enemies. The Holy Spirit will help you to pray. He will strengthen you. Even if you don’t know how to get started with prayer, Jesus gave one to His disciples and to you. It’s found in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 6…
Our Father in heaven, hallowed by Your name. Let Your kingdom come. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power ad the glory forever. Amen.
Staying close to the Lord and telling Hi about your pain will help you to find your voice again. You will find courage and strength to stand up and speak up for yourself even in the midst of a terrible abusive storm.
If possible, find a support group for teens in your area or check out one of our online support groups. When you begin to hear other people’s stories, you will feel more comfortable telling your own stories of abuse. As you talk about what happened to you (or what is STILL happening to you), you will learn that you are not alone and that your stories matter. YOU matter. Healthy relationships matter. Dating violence and abuse are not God’s best plan for you.
Healthy relationships allow for each person to have the freedom to speak the truth in love. Mutual respect means that what each person says is valuable and worthy of being heard. Healthy ad loving relationships give you the freedom to say what’s on your mind and heart without fear of being criticized or judged or ridiculed.
Your voice matters. It’s time to talk.