I was recently asked, “What New Year’s Resolutions are you going to make?” I quickly answered “none.” I find it more fruitful to reflect on my “stones of remembrances” of God’s faithfulness to me and the ministry throughout the year. This year has been one of those challenging years personally and in ministry. In my personal life, there have been heartbreaks in family situations, health issues, my budget having to double or triple because of cost of living, losses in relationships, and living in a world of chaos and uncertainty.
In ministry, the presence of constant financial concerns, heartbreak over some of our client’s choices, technological challenges, not enough support groups to meet the need, weeping over the stories that our clients share, church response to DV, and the growing presence of evil.
There has been a deep heaviness in my heart all year. It was so strong that at our last training in October, I asked Chaplain Natalie to read Psalm 91 and pray before we started our training presentation for that day.
I know that what I am expressing to you sounds like gloom and doom, yet I can see God’s presence encouraging me to continue to persevere. Glimpses of hope would appear out of nowhere like an unexpected donation, receiving an email or phone call from someone acknowledging God using the ministry in their life, an expressed appreciation for FOCUS Ministries, seeing God’s power through answered prayers and opportunities to spread the news about the ministry and what we offer.
I do admit there were many times that I just wanted to quit ministry. It all was too much to bear. God doesn’t promise us an easy life on earth, but He promises that he won’t abandon us. When I am weak, Jesus is strong. Sometimes Jesus has to pick me up and carry me. I often ponder “Emmanuel, God with us!” I am grateful that this earthly living is not my home. I carry the promise of eternal life with Jesus in my heart.
I don’t know what your life has been like this year, but I do know that if you feel hopeless, weak, uncertain, and alone, reflect on your “stones of remembrances” of God’s faithfulness. Often times we are not aware of His faithfulness until we ponder “God with Us”. List times of God’s presence no matter how small they seem. Let God encourage your heart today!
Paula, thank you for those encouraging words. Indeed there have been some dark days in 2023, but we follow the Light of the World — He is our strength and our song. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, but we do know the One who brings our future in His tender hands.
I am grateful that God is faithful. Thank you for your response.