Phoebe* knew abuse as a child. Her father was loud and ruled the household with an iron fist. But Phoebe knew that someday her Prince would come and rescue her out of the abuse and carry her away to a lovely, loving home.
When Phoebe met Bill, she was instantly drawn to his warm smile and believed all of his promises to provide for her every need. They were married, moved to a beautiful home with many gardens. Phoebe thought for certain that she was on her way to happily ever after.
But Bill was not who she thought he was. Phoebe soon learned that Bill planned to control every part of her life. She was required to present all of her shopping receipts to him. She learned to endure his shouting and name-calling. She didn’t like that he watched pornography, but didn’t know how to get him to stop. He was not physically attracted to her at all and their bedroom life was not what she had dreamed of – there was no physical contact with Bill because he didn’t like anything about her looks and complained about her smells.
Bill openly flirted with women at church. Nobody noticed Phoebe.
She wondered why they were even married. They adopted a beautiful baby girl, because Bill was not able to have marital intimacy with Phoebe.
After years and years of neglect and abuse, Phoebe found the website for FOCUS Ministries and reached out for a counseling appointment. She couldn’t lift her head during that first meeting, but only looked down in shame, thinking that she was the cause of all the marriage problems.
Phoebe began attending the local FOCUS Ministries support group where she heard many stories of domestic abuse from other women. She learned that domestic abuse and violence can happen in Christian homes. She learned that it was not her fault. Most importantly, Phoebe learned that Jesus Christ is her Savior and He is her only hope in this life and in the life to come.
Phoebe was still depressed, stressed, feeling sad and worthless, but she began to consider that maybe she didn’t want to live like that anymore. She was not employed, but she started to believe she could leave. Phoebe made a detailed plan for how to get out of the home. She bought gift cards for herself, telling Bill they were birthday gifts for various friends and family members. She researched a professional training organization in a town nearby and attended sessions where she learned how to create an effective resume and how to interview like a champion and how to work with many different software programs.
Her training and new-found confidence paid off when she applied for a position with her state government and nailed the interview. She was hired!
The next step in the plan was to find an affordable apartment away from Bill and his perverted life. She and her daughter moved into their own safe, quiet, peaceful home just months after Phoebe began her new career.
Phoebe continued to attend FOCUS Ministries’ support group sessions, learning more and more about destructive relationships, realizing there was little hope for her marriage. When she hired a lawyer and began divorce proceedings, Bill didn’t fight it. He was already interested in other women.
Today Phoebe is free from Bill. She has a healthy relationship with her daughter. She has been happily working for the State of Illinois for six years. She owns her own beautiful home in the suburbs where she cares for and provides for her elderly mother.
The Lord has led Phoebe to a new relationship with a truly Christ-honoring man who loves her dearly. They pray together everyday. They study the Bible together. She is thankful for all the healing and recovery she has experienced over the years, giving God the glory.
She is thankful for FOCUS Ministries and hopeful that other women will find the healing love and compassion of Jesus Christ through their support groups and counseling services. Phoebe has learned to FOCUS on Christ for ultimate satisfaction and hope. Will you call us today?
*not her real name, just her real story
