Here we are near the end of January…is anyone feeling some cabin fever?
Sometimes at this time of the year, the walls start to close in on us, especially if the general atmosphere of our cabin is toxic and destructive. We wake up in the morning, the sky is still dark and gray, the wind is still howling outside our window, the snow and ice are still there…what will we do with this day?
The winter season drags on and on, and in our cabin the mess that is called holy matrimony is causing us to feel a great variety of dark emotions. Raise your hand if this sounds familiar:
Sadness and tears for the wasted years.
Anger so tight for the yoke of oppression day and night.
Grief that has no relief.
Shame shame shame and who is to blame.
Hope smashed on the floor and swept out the door.
Fear is near, so near, so near.
Regrets for all the secrets.
What will you do with these emotions? Where will you go? Will you tell anyone? Can you even trust anyone with your emotions? Will it always feel like this?
The cabin fever is real and so are the emotions. The winter weather alone locks us into the home, alone, feeling so alone. I validate you here and now! What you are experiencing is confusing and terrifying and feels like forever.
There’s a certain thick shadow that hangs over the home of abuse and danger. Is he following me? Is he watching my every move? Will I ever be free? Why doesn’t he just leave? He says I am stupid and ugly. Why does he stay here if I’m that terrible of a person?
I affirm everything you feel right now. It is real. Our emotions are all very real.
Our emotions are part of God’s good design for our lives, like it or not. And in His great mercy, He made our emotions to come and to go. We feel sad, angry, afraid or ashamed, but then in a little while we feel something else. We do get relief from the grief. Our human condition includes the wonder of being sad and then it gives way to glad and then switches over to mad.
When my daughter was in out-patient therapy for her own mental health challenges, we would talk a bit while we drove to the clinic. She expressed concern for the deep deep sadness and depression as well as the terrifying anxiety she was feeling. It was all very real and happening at the same time. I asked her, “What is the root word of emotion?” Of course, being a middle school student, she looked at me like I was an alien from Mars or a bug on the windshield.
“I have no idea, and I don’t really care,” was her reply.
The Lord Jesus, present in His loving Holy Spirit, gave me a nudge and I gently answered my own question. “The root word of emotion is MOTION.”
(And yes, I know that’s kind of not true and my own high school English teacher, Mrs. Boorman, would chide me and remind me that actually the root word of emotion is EMOTE. But dear Mrs. Boorman was not in the car with us, so I continued on with my answer….)
“The root word of emotion is MOTION because all of our feelings are constantly in motion,” I explained patiently. “Yes you do feel anxious, and depressed and worried and sad right now. But in a few hours or in a few days, you will feel something else. It might be sad mixed with a little joy that the birds are singing. You might feel anxious, but maybe it’s more like excitement because we are going to that new movie that just came out. Maybe it’s anger now for what has happened to you, but maybe in a little while it will change and move more towards acceptance and forgiveness. That’s the miracle of e-motions – they are always in motion, always moving.”
Friend, in your late January cabin fever, can you believe that your e-motions will move along? Can you have even a mustard seed of faith that your feelings will feel better in a little while? Can you trust Jesus to bring you through this time? Is there a way that you can take good care of yourself until the sun comes out and the weather warms up and the grass turns green and the birdsongs are outside your window? Can you hang on for spring? And then maybe we will talk about spring fever…