Could Yeardley Love and Other Victims Have Been Saved?
Since the brutal murder of UVA lacrosse player, Yeardley Love, the media, Advocates and Experts have been questioning, “Could Yeardley Love have been saved?” Many of us wonder and ask why George Huguely hadn’t been stopped before. He was witnessed strangling Love at a party, attacked a fellow teammate while they slept for supposedly kissing Love. Why didn’t anyone (friends, family members, team mates, coaches, Professors, team doctors and assistants) intervene?
In my expert opinion ABSOLUTELY!
The alleged mount of evidence from previous abuse by Hugely would not have given Yeardley Love an Order of Protection since VA doesn’t offer this to individuals in dating relationships where violence is present; but there seems to have been mountains of altercations, abuse and assaults to put him in prison long before he took Love’s life.
If only someone would have assisted Yeardley, extended a hand to her in Advocacy. Yeardley was let down by everyone in my opinion across the board. This is why I am working so damn hard to bring much needed education and awareness to our young people (specifically females) and referring males to other resources.
Once abuse in any form starts….it DOES NOT STOP/END, it only escalates. Students, parents, university administration, professors, coaches, etc. MUST be educated as well. They must be proactive, learn how to recognize abuse and step up to the plate in advocacy to assist and help a victim of abuse.
Time is of the essence and if we don’t start by educating our young people more and more will be dying at the hands of their assailants.
Maureen Dowd published an interesting article in the New York Times discussing how youth at Landon Private School (Hugely attended Landon) as young as 14 are exhibiting similar behavior and what is/isn’t being done about it.
It was set up like a fantasy football league draft. The height, weight and performance statistics of the draftees were offered to decide who would make the cut and who would emerge as the No. 1 pick.
But the players in this predatory game were not famous N.F.L. stars. They were unwitting girls about to start high school.
A group of soon-to-be freshmen boys at Landon, an elite private grade school and high school for boys in the wealthy Washington suburb of Montgomery County, Md., was drafting local girls.
One team was called “The Southside Slampigs,” and one boy dubbed his team with crude street slang for drug-addicted prostitutes. The young woman who was the “top pick” was described by one of the boys in a team profile he put up online as “sweet, outgoing, friendly, willing to get down and dirty and [expletive] party. Coming in at 90 pounds, 5’2 and a bra size 34d.” She would be a special asset to the team, he noted, because her mother “is quite the cougar herself.”
Before they got caught last summer, the boys had planned an “opening day party,” complete with T-shirts, where the mission was to invite the drafted girls and, unbeknownst to them, score points by trying to rack up as many sexual encounters with the young women as possible.
“They evidently got points for first, second and third base,” said one outraged father of a drafted girl. “They were going to have parties and tally up the points, and money was going to be exchanged at the end of the season.” He said that the boys would also have earned points for “schmoozing with the parents.”
His daughter, he said, “was very upset about it. She thought these guys were her friends. This is the way we teach boys to treat women, young ladies? You have enough to worry about as a 14- or 15-year-old girl without having to worry about guys who are doing it as sport.”
Another parent was equally appalled: “I think the girls felt like they were getting targeted, that this was some big game. Talk about using people. It doesn’t get much worse than that.”
Landon is where the sons of many prominent members of the community are sent to learn “the code of character,” where “a Landon man” is part of a “true Brotherhood” and is known for his good word, respect and honesty. The school’s Web site boasts about the Landon Civility Code; boys are expected to “work together to eliminate all forms of disrespect” and “respect one another and our surroundings in our decorum, appearance, and interactions.”
The Washington suburban community of private school parents has also been reeling this spring from the tragedy involving former Landon student George Huguely V, a scion of the family that owned the lumber business that helped build the nation’s capital.
Huguely, who was a University of Virginia lacrosse player, was charged in the brutal death of his sometime girlfriend, Yeardley Love, a lacrosse player on the university’s women’s team who also hailed from Maryland.
The lovely young woman’s door was kicked in and her head was smashed over and over into the wall.
The awful crime, chronicled on the cover of People with the headline “Could She Have Been Saved?,” raised haunting questions about why Huguely had not already been reported to authorities, even though other lacrosse players had seen him choke Love at a party and his circle knew that the athlete had attacked a sleeping teammate whom he suspected had kissed Love. Huguely had also been so out-of-control drunk, angry and racially abusive with a policewoman in 2008 that she had to Taser him.
In The Washington Post, the sports columnist Sally Jenkins wrote about the swagger of young male athletes and the culture of silence that protects their thuggish locker-room behavior.
“His teammates and friends, the ones who watched him smash up windows and bottles and heard him rant about Love,” she wrote. “Why didn’t they turn him in? … Why did they not treat Yeardley Love as their teammate, too?”
Some of the parents of girls drafted for the Landon sex teams think that the punishment for those culpable should have been greater, and the notification to parents should have been more thorough. Was the macho culture of silence in play?
Jean Erstling, Landon’s director of communications, said she was “aware of the incident” but that “student records including disciplinary infractions are confidential.”
She said that “Landon has an extensive ethics and character education program which includes as its key tenets respect and honesty. Civility toward women is definitely part of that education program.”
Time for a curriculum overhaul. Young men everywhere must be taught, beyond platitudes, that young women are not prey.
I couldn’t agree more with Maureen all school curriculum needs MAJOR overhaul as well as educating our parents and our girls what they should additionally be asking universities and colleges of interest regarding crime stats, reporting policy and procedures. There is much more to choosing higher education than just “why should I major in” or the look of the dorm and campus. And, they MUST DO THEIR OWN RESEARCH. Do not just take a representative’s word for it. Inquire at the city/town/county law departments; google schools, Security On Campus, Inc.; know and become familiar with The Clery Act Compliance.
DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC
By Anny Jacoby