I married a pastor. After 7 years of his alcoholic binges, and his horrible verbal abuse of my daughters (he was their stepfather), I left him and got a divorce. I know divorce is not an option in the Bible. but I didn’t know what to do, and couldn’t talk to anyone about what we were going through. I know I’m forgiving through the shed blood of Jesus. He knows what I have gone through. He knows I did everything I could at that time in my life to save our marriage. My husband refused to seek counsel from any pastor. He said it was no one’s business. I still feel guilt from time to time. I still wonder if I stayed, if he would have changed. The emotional scars left on my four daughters is what keeps me from dwelling on the past. I pray for all those women out there who have married a godly man, that does not carry out that godliness in his own home. I wish there was something I could do to help your ministry.
Former Pastor’s Wife
Dear Former Pastor’s Wife,
First of all I don’t believe your husband was a “godly man”. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. a Pharisee. He preached from the Bible but did not know the Bible in his heart. His heart is hard and not open to looking at himself nor willing to be held accountable. As a pastor, I believe God will hold him more accountable because of his actions toward you and your girls plus the deception he portrayed to his congregation.
You are not responsible for him changing. That is his responsibility. Consequences have to be given to show something is wrong. If you stayed longer you would see more damage to yourself and your daughters. It took a great deal of courage to leave the situation.